The Why library
Why we need each other
Plain-language articles on love, attention and the phones in our hands. Every claim links to its source, and every article says how strong the evidence is.
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Why we need each other
What the research says about love, attention and the phones in our hands, and why none of it is about blame.
Well establishedArticles
Phones and the people beside us
How common is it?
Sitting side by side, both on our phones. What surveys of couples actually find, and what they can't tell us.
PromisingPhones and the people beside us
Phones are not the villain
The research on phones is more mixed than the headlines. What it does show, what it doesn't, and why that matters.
MixedLantern and spotlight
Two kinds of attention
Spotlight and lantern. A simple idea from developmental psychology that explains a lot about evenings on the sofa.
An idea, not a findingHow connection works
Calm is contagious
Two people in a room affect each other's nervous systems. What the research shows about presence, touch and small moments, and where the science is still argued about.
PromisingComing next
- Loneliness is common, and not a personal failing
- Closeness takes time
- Phones at dinner
- Phones, closeness and sex
- We underrate deep talk
- Being moved together
- Questions for when you both look up